Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Finding Prince Charming
When I was a little girl, I dreamed about "Mr.Right", my wedding, being a mother, and having a family. My Prince Charming would whisk me away and desire me above all else, even when my hair turns to silver, and my body is failing. I would be his. I saw my Grandmother, who until the day she died, (35 years after Grandpa) desire no other man, just patiently waiting to be reunited with him in Heaven.
That is what I wanted! That is strong love!
But in a world, and my own life so full of divorce, I didn't know how to get that. Heck, I didn't even know what I was really trying to get. I know what I saw in the movies. You know what I'm talking about, "Prince Charming comes in on his white horse, saves the day, and that IS IT!
Let the trumpets sound...Doot do doooo! Your soul mate has arrived! His desires are the same as yours, and instantly fate has paired you up. His life mission is just to bring you happiness."
*Siiigh* eyelashes bat and my heart skips a beat. That's it! That must be what my Grandparents had! All my girlfriends would just swoon over how gorgeous he was, and his unfailing tunnel vision that was only focused on me!
Having my eye on the "target" I was now on the hunt at the ripe age of 10. Getting boyfriend after boyfriend.
Whoooooooa! SHOCK FACTOR!! 10??
??What??
Now that you have all said, "Oh my! Ten years old!" You know what I am talking about. Cute boy in class, or a friend of the family. Even though you don't go anywhere or do anything, maybe hold hands, hug, or maybe a kiss on the cheek for the joining parents to take a picture and giggle at how "cute" we were. That's right, even that young and innocent, not really a boyfriend in the mature sense. It still had an impact on my life and my worth. Showing me that I had to have someone. Life wasn't complete unless someone else found worth in me. What gained me the "worth" of a boy in class? Making sure my body was small, I dressed in the "correct" clothes, and only hung out with the "worthy ones." Imitating them in their lives whether it was my likes or not. This is where I fell into for many years the world's warped view on "individuality and worth." Now I won't go fully into that view, if you are interested in that you can read my other blog Them Nasty Curse Words In Church.
Okay.... plug in for blog complete...moving on...
So as the years go by, boy after boy being "The One," until he turns out not to be the Prince Charming I had imagined. Each rejection, each failure telling me that I wasn't "worth" them devoting their lives to my said happiness. Even when I would change myself to be what "he would like." I kept failing, failing at being "worth" his love and worth his commitment. I wasn't worth my Grandparents love.
By the time I met my Husband, I was a professional people pleaser. I wouldn't have known what I actually liked, if it had walked right up and smacked me on the head. Going into our marriage, we were both such wrecks. We actually planned our failure. We were very open about it too. As we bought stuff, right then and there we would decide who got it "when" we split up. We thought in doing this, it would make things smoother "when" that day came.
You see, what we actually had done is created a pattern of failure. Any relationship we had been in had failed us, or we had failed it. Either way... it failed. So we wanted to be prepared for when that day inevitably came.
Then we had Children...(doesn't that just change everything? Haha.) We both knew we didn't want to give our kids a broken home. We had both experienced that ourselves, so we tried ALMOST every angle to "keep us married" until we broke. Here we both realized that our run had come to an end. Again faced with failure on both sides. My Husband not being my Prince Charming, and never feeling worthy to be with him. Me not being the wife he had envisioned, or with the same priorities. Both of us broken from the other. So many wrong paths, had just made it worse.
Why? Why couldn't we have what the movies told us? Why were we going to be just another statistic on how marriages fail? Neither of us not knowing where to go or what to do. And me...don't even get me started, I was lost before it all even began. Shaping my life and opinions around what would please those around me. Not only was my marriage lost and failed, but I was sure that it was what I deserved by my lack of worth. I mean, why should I have any different? I should just count my blessings that we had lasted 10 years. That's longer than a lot of our friends. Even still, I wanted what my Grandparents had. I wanted my "Love of a lifetime." But this was something I couldn't get, and I didn't want this "love" of the last 10 years to be what we would have for the next 50. There had to be better, or more out there, but we were lost. I was lost.
Now anyone who has spoke with my Husband and I, has probably heard our testimony on this stage in our lives, or my readers that have read "The Light in Your Darkness ." This is a stage that my Husband and I try and be very open about. For those who don't know, I will highlight whats needed for this, but encourage you to read the full story.
Plug in #2 for blog....check!
Okay, to recap... Up to this point in our marriage my Husband and I had "played church." You know, clocked in and out on Sundays and when the kids or important folks were looking. HOWEVER, our marriage showed nothing of God.
Our marriage reeked havoc, not just in our lives, both those close around us as well. Even with putting our "fake" smile on, the sins of our hearts and actions bubbled to the surface, scarring more than just us. Not realizing until we were completely broke, the "Fe-ma sized catastrophe" we had created. Then what do we do? Then, the only path we had not tried...Give it ALL to God.
But how? How do we get what we both wanted? So, we started Christian Marriage counseling. It didn't take us long to realize just how lost we had truly been. I could compare us trying to be married to the same as trying to throw a 5 year old into a car and telling them to drive. They may know some of what to do, but I doubt you would let them take you far. We needed better. We needed to know not just "how to drive," but how to do lasting maintenance to keep the "car" we were trying to drive, running as long, and as smooth as possible.
However, before the "driving" lessons on marriage could begin, we had to fix ourselves. I mean after all, you can't build a house using broken beams. Okay, okay, you might be able to get it to stand, but it won't weather the storm.
Now for the stand off... My Worth! We have 20 years of the world brow-beating me in every area I lack...verses... This foreign love of God that saw so much worth in me, He sent His only Son to die to save me. (John 3:16)
So the lessons and self exploration began to understand who I was and exactly what I was worth. We dug deeper and deeper into the Word to understand God's Love. I saw His mighty Grace and Mercy. I learned that the world and enemy will condemn me, but God will convict me with His beautiful Truth to shape me into a better person. (John 3:17-18)I learned that I am His wonderfully made daughter, and if He had 99 of his saved children with Him, He would leave them and search for me, the lost one! Just so He could bring me home! (Psalm 127:3)(Luke 15:3-7)
*WOW*
He seeks me! He has tunnel vision focused on me! His desire is to have a relationship with me! To love me!Even when I am unlovable! Standing by me, with open arms, just waiting for me to turn to Him. There to search out my heart and help me to be the best me possible. Telling me that it is okay for me to be weak, because where I am weak, He is strong! All this time, we had been trying to build a house using us as the beams and foundation... But He who is our cornerstone is the true SOLID foundation. (Ephesians 2:20) A Foundation that WILL withstand the storm! (Matthew 7:24-27)
All this time, we had been trying to "drive" the car, and we already owned the "manual" telling us how to drive with, or without a copilot. When we finally started treating our Bible as the "Tattered road atlas" that we wouldn't dare leave without, instead of keeping it on the precious "no touch shelf," we actually started learning how to run this race. All this time, searching everywhere, taking so many unneeded paths, and the answers were in the book I avoided. I thought that book was filled with the "do-nots" of life. What I didn't know was it was full of His heart, and amazing love for me. (1John 4:19)All this time searching, and my Prince Charming that I desired unconditional love from had been right there, waiting for me to just turn and run to Him. (Zechariah 1:3)
I finally figured out that I had true worth, not because it was earned, but because God chose to make me worthy! God showed me that MIGHTY Love is sacrificial, putting others needs first. For God so loved the world He Gave...
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
When my Husband and I learned God's heart and how God loves us, we were able to love each other the way we were suppose to all along. No longer selfishly about me, but I love to please him, and he me. He is my best-friend, and the true love of my life, because I choose him, and He chooses me...everyday.
<3 Cat
Monday, March 2, 2015
Forgiveness or Die
Forgiveness...What is that? What does that mean? This is something that I needed to figure out. How do I move on after hurtful situations? When I say it...do I mean it? What does it mean that I am forgiven? What do we forgive? Are there limits to the capabilities of forgiveness? These are questions that rambled through my head as I went on this hunt.I needed answers, I had a lot of hurt, as well as caused my fair share of hurt myself. I needed to know if true forgiveness was foreseeable.
I had hit a point in my life that I needed forgiveness. I needed to move forward in my life. I needed to truly understand, was my life "forgivable?" Was my life "worth" it? Was it worth the battle to fight, or should I just let that life go? And there it was. Sitting right there on the curb in front of my house, I had done it. I had had my first suicidal thought. Me...the person, who didn't understand and got angry anytime people ever mentioned suicide. "HOW SELFISH!" I would bark at anyone who had said thought of it. "What about your family!!!?" But there I was, buried in my sins that had happened to me, and the horrible ones that I had committed all crashing down on me at once. Hearing a voice over and over in my head telling me, "It would be kinder to your family to just Not Be Here. This is beyond repair."
Then while doing what I do best...analyzing all the details, a loud angry bark of my past came through my head as a warrior charging through the field of my adversaries, sword drawn, " How could you think that!? What about your kids? This IS NOT who you are or what you believe!" Then my mind was brought back to a boy in college. This boy had shared how his father had committed suicide when he was 10 years old. He had been who found his body. The thoughts he had, what had he done wrong? Why did his Dad not fight for him? At that moment...I broke. It was time for a change. My kids would NEVER go through what that boy did. I had been in church and thought I knew forgiveness, but now it was time to tear this apart. I had to be able to move past this point, but to do so, I needed to reexamine all of the so called "forgiveness" in my life. Did I really forgive the hurts of my past?
So the search began. What is forgiveness? I found in my research that there are three main scenarios that call for forgiveness. Option one: The person does wrong, sees that it is wrong, and comes to you to apologize. Option 2: The person doesn't realize that they have wronged you, and when you point it out to them, they then apologize. Option 3: (Most definitely the hardest) The person does you wrong, and when you confront them, has no remorse, denies, or even worse...blames you for their wrong act. I also found that there are two main roles in forgiveness. The person seeking forgiveness, and the person forgiving. Both equally important, and I was in need of both. How do I get or give that? I needed the history of forgiveness.
So, with my Church background, I would seek God to see what I needed to know. I prayed and read and prayed for guidance. I needed His guidance in this...where did it all start? So, he took me to the book of Genesis.. to just that the, beginning where God created man Genesis 1:26-31. In this God created man, Adam... and even knowing the paths that would be taken...He called it good. Why would He call it good? Adam failed. Even with that what did God do when Adam failed? Was God shocked? No. He gave him a new path. A path of forgiveness, and a new future. Fast forward to Noah. The world had fallen under corruption, yet He gave a way out, a way of salvation to those who would just listen. (Genesis 6:9-9:17) A new covenant and promise to man, who fails. Then lets go to Moses, like many others...a story of greatness, failure, and redemption. I mean here, Moses had just went up and received the 10 commandments, and while gone the Israelite's had already created an idol to worship. Then when Moses got angry and smashed the commandments, God made him a new set. So again, showing a new path from failure for redemption. Then, as once again we had years upon years of failures, God gave us new path. He became flesh. God again was not shocked by our failures, but instead gave us hope for a future...this time, one that would be everlasting. He gave His Son. He gave Jesus, and Jesus could have turned away, He could have not went through with the will of God, but instead, He gave us that path to the forgiveness we all need. He wore and carried every past present and future sin with Him onto that cross. He took our punishment to ensure us forgiveness. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. So, now I saw God's undeniable love for us...but was I worth it? Then God asked me, " Was Paul?"
Who was Paul before Christ? Before Jesus found Paul on the road to Damascus, he was Saul. This was a man who hunted out Christians. Destroyed churches, drug Christian men and women out of their homes to prison. (Philippians 3:4-6) However, once Jesus changed him, he became Paul, a man who would change lives for Christ, and wrote a lot of the New Testament . A true missionary. This man did horrible things, yet God not only saw his potential and worth, but taught Paul how to rise to it and become new. Again, God saw the worth when no one else did, and paved the road for redemption.With that new path Paul changed lives, and his writings still do to this day. This was a history lesson that I needed.
So what does the Bible say about how to forgive? Matthew 6:14-15 says " For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins," So then I had to look at my past. Did I really forgive? By the world's labels. I was a child of poverty, divorce, sexual abuse, drug abuse, abandonment...and the list could keep going, but I think that is plenty. Then there is my own sins, I have lied, cheated, stole, drugs, broke laws, fights...and that list can continue on as well. I have broke families to their hinges on my own sins. Can this stuff be forgiven? I say yes, by the standards that I have studied. How do I forgive those who truly hurt me from my past? Well, First I had to realize that I am not what the world labeled me as. The moment I took Christ into my heart, I became new. As this new person I have to get to know God's heart. When you get to know the heart of God, you start to see the world through His eyes. God's eyes see potential. God's eyes see forgiveness, not because it is deserved, but as an act of grace, love and mercy to restore you to who you can be with Him. So, do I forgive those past wrong doers? Yes, and to be honest I think that was easier for me. My hard part was to be forgiven.
How can I be forgiven? I know God says he forgave me, but I couldn't let go. I was so ashamed of my poor choices. How do I get past that? I know as soon as you ask God, that you are forgiven...but the real problem is, I had to forgive myself, and I had to do it with no closer of being forgiven from the ones I harmed. They can't forgive me , how can I? The God said, you are new. So I took that to motivate me. Am I proud of my poor choices of my past? No, HOWEVER that is what keeps me who I am now. I know I am the daughter that God is shaping me to be. As I saw the new person he made me into, I realized it was true...I was new, whole, and at peace.That person wasn't me anymore. As for them not forgiving me, all I could do is just sincerely apologize with all my heart, and then that was between them and God if they forgave me. But I would lead in my actions, (not just my words) and my life to not head down that rode again.
You see, what I learned was like I said earlier. There are two roles in forgiving, the person forgiving, and then the person being forgiven. Both roles are equally as important, HOWEVER, neither role should affect the way you act in your part. It is our own actions the we are responsible for, not others reactions. (2 Corinthians 5:10) So I will do my best for Him. Will I fail? I'm sure of it from time to time. But that same grace, love, and mercy He shows me to restore me into a better person, I will strive to show others. So if you are searching for forgiveness, I will challenge you, get to know God's heart. When you do, your heart will break for the broken, search for the lost, and see potential in all. Making forgiveness that much closer.
<3 Cat
I had hit a point in my life that I needed forgiveness. I needed to move forward in my life. I needed to truly understand, was my life "forgivable?" Was my life "worth" it? Was it worth the battle to fight, or should I just let that life go? And there it was. Sitting right there on the curb in front of my house, I had done it. I had had my first suicidal thought. Me...the person, who didn't understand and got angry anytime people ever mentioned suicide. "HOW SELFISH!" I would bark at anyone who had said thought of it. "What about your family!!!?" But there I was, buried in my sins that had happened to me, and the horrible ones that I had committed all crashing down on me at once. Hearing a voice over and over in my head telling me, "It would be kinder to your family to just Not Be Here. This is beyond repair."
Then while doing what I do best...analyzing all the details, a loud angry bark of my past came through my head as a warrior charging through the field of my adversaries, sword drawn, " How could you think that!? What about your kids? This IS NOT who you are or what you believe!" Then my mind was brought back to a boy in college. This boy had shared how his father had committed suicide when he was 10 years old. He had been who found his body. The thoughts he had, what had he done wrong? Why did his Dad not fight for him? At that moment...I broke. It was time for a change. My kids would NEVER go through what that boy did. I had been in church and thought I knew forgiveness, but now it was time to tear this apart. I had to be able to move past this point, but to do so, I needed to reexamine all of the so called "forgiveness" in my life. Did I really forgive the hurts of my past?
So the search began. What is forgiveness? I found in my research that there are three main scenarios that call for forgiveness. Option one: The person does wrong, sees that it is wrong, and comes to you to apologize. Option 2: The person doesn't realize that they have wronged you, and when you point it out to them, they then apologize. Option 3: (Most definitely the hardest) The person does you wrong, and when you confront them, has no remorse, denies, or even worse...blames you for their wrong act. I also found that there are two main roles in forgiveness. The person seeking forgiveness, and the person forgiving. Both equally important, and I was in need of both. How do I get or give that? I needed the history of forgiveness.
So, with my Church background, I would seek God to see what I needed to know. I prayed and read and prayed for guidance. I needed His guidance in this...where did it all start? So, he took me to the book of Genesis.. to just that the, beginning where God created man Genesis 1:26-31. In this God created man, Adam... and even knowing the paths that would be taken...He called it good. Why would He call it good? Adam failed. Even with that what did God do when Adam failed? Was God shocked? No. He gave him a new path. A path of forgiveness, and a new future. Fast forward to Noah. The world had fallen under corruption, yet He gave a way out, a way of salvation to those who would just listen. (Genesis 6:9-9:17) A new covenant and promise to man, who fails. Then lets go to Moses, like many others...a story of greatness, failure, and redemption. I mean here, Moses had just went up and received the 10 commandments, and while gone the Israelite's had already created an idol to worship. Then when Moses got angry and smashed the commandments, God made him a new set. So again, showing a new path from failure for redemption. Then, as once again we had years upon years of failures, God gave us new path. He became flesh. God again was not shocked by our failures, but instead gave us hope for a future...this time, one that would be everlasting. He gave His Son. He gave Jesus, and Jesus could have turned away, He could have not went through with the will of God, but instead, He gave us that path to the forgiveness we all need. He wore and carried every past present and future sin with Him onto that cross. He took our punishment to ensure us forgiveness. John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. So, now I saw God's undeniable love for us...but was I worth it? Then God asked me, " Was Paul?"
Who was Paul before Christ? Before Jesus found Paul on the road to Damascus, he was Saul. This was a man who hunted out Christians. Destroyed churches, drug Christian men and women out of their homes to prison. (Philippians 3:4-6) However, once Jesus changed him, he became Paul, a man who would change lives for Christ, and wrote a lot of the New Testament . A true missionary. This man did horrible things, yet God not only saw his potential and worth, but taught Paul how to rise to it and become new. Again, God saw the worth when no one else did, and paved the road for redemption.With that new path Paul changed lives, and his writings still do to this day. This was a history lesson that I needed.
So what does the Bible say about how to forgive? Matthew 6:14-15 says " For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins," So then I had to look at my past. Did I really forgive? By the world's labels. I was a child of poverty, divorce, sexual abuse, drug abuse, abandonment...and the list could keep going, but I think that is plenty. Then there is my own sins, I have lied, cheated, stole, drugs, broke laws, fights...and that list can continue on as well. I have broke families to their hinges on my own sins. Can this stuff be forgiven? I say yes, by the standards that I have studied. How do I forgive those who truly hurt me from my past? Well, First I had to realize that I am not what the world labeled me as. The moment I took Christ into my heart, I became new. As this new person I have to get to know God's heart. When you get to know the heart of God, you start to see the world through His eyes. God's eyes see potential. God's eyes see forgiveness, not because it is deserved, but as an act of grace, love and mercy to restore you to who you can be with Him. So, do I forgive those past wrong doers? Yes, and to be honest I think that was easier for me. My hard part was to be forgiven.
How can I be forgiven? I know God says he forgave me, but I couldn't let go. I was so ashamed of my poor choices. How do I get past that? I know as soon as you ask God, that you are forgiven...but the real problem is, I had to forgive myself, and I had to do it with no closer of being forgiven from the ones I harmed. They can't forgive me , how can I? The God said, you are new. So I took that to motivate me. Am I proud of my poor choices of my past? No, HOWEVER that is what keeps me who I am now. I know I am the daughter that God is shaping me to be. As I saw the new person he made me into, I realized it was true...I was new, whole, and at peace.That person wasn't me anymore. As for them not forgiving me, all I could do is just sincerely apologize with all my heart, and then that was between them and God if they forgave me. But I would lead in my actions, (not just my words) and my life to not head down that rode again.
You see, what I learned was like I said earlier. There are two roles in forgiving, the person forgiving, and then the person being forgiven. Both roles are equally as important, HOWEVER, neither role should affect the way you act in your part. It is our own actions the we are responsible for, not others reactions. (2 Corinthians 5:10) So I will do my best for Him. Will I fail? I'm sure of it from time to time. But that same grace, love, and mercy He shows me to restore me into a better person, I will strive to show others. So if you are searching for forgiveness, I will challenge you, get to know God's heart. When you do, your heart will break for the broken, search for the lost, and see potential in all. Making forgiveness that much closer.
<3 Cat
Sunday, February 15, 2015
A Letter For My Children
As I get older, day after day I see people come and go in this lifetime. People say," We are not promised a tomorrow." Regrets lived for a lifetime, wishing they had just said that one thing. Parentless children, wishing for guidance as they hit their road bumps of life. So, this I write for my children. Not only my children of blood, but to my children by marriage, heart, and any in my path that I have influence over.
Let me start for the boys...
To my sweet precious boys.
I wish for you the world, but to live in your heart as if you live on the ground floor. Never looking past those who the world so easily overlook. There is no one better respected than the master who will serve his servants.
The world will tell you to, "Be a man." Well I agree..be a man...
Be a man of God. Be a man, a man that is in, and KNOWS His Word. Be a man to walk with integrity, to do what is right with no one watching. Even if it's not popular to do so. Be a man to lead for God, even if it looks as if none will follow. Be a man to avert your eyes when this world tries to tempt you to desire a woman's body before her heart.
Be a man that faces his fears, and steps out in faith. Be a man who forgives easy, and loves hard. Be a man that when he fails, doesn't sit shackled by those failures, but learns from them. One that walks away as a victor and overcommer, and can help those struggling the same way. Be a man who says he is sorry, and mean it with all your heart. Be a man who respects his woman, whether she respects herself or not. Show her her true worth, show her how God loves her.
Be a man who provides for his family, and still takes time to play. Be a man who chooses to desire God first, so that God can show you how to be the husband in love with his wife after 50 years. Be a man that after 20 years of marriage will still grab his wife by the hand and dance with her in the Livingroom, while telling her that you love her.
Be a man...a respectful man. Be a man, a man of action, who jumps to help without being asked. Be a man...a gentlemen. When compassion and tenderness is needed, don't fear to show it. Be a man, a warrior man. A man who will stand in the darkest time for the truth. Be a man as the world says, but be a man to lead the men of this world to what a man should be.
To my girls..my sweet, beautiful, diamonds in the rough. First and foremost, get to know your Father. Your Father who is unfailing, your Heavenly Father.
Love God with all your heart, and don't fear to give Him your heart. He will respect it. Know that your worth is more than any price in this world!
Know that you are beautiful, no matter your body shape or the worlds view on beauty. Be in your Word and know your Word. Be of integrity, and fearless in it. Be a role-model to those who struggle with self worth, and have fallen into the worlds lies, that their only worth is their body.
Be kind and compassionate. Respect yourself to live by standards, and know that you are worth those standards! Know that God beautifully made you the way you are, and has great plans for you! Be in prayer, so you know God's voice for when He guides you. When you find yourself "needing a guy," don't just give your heart to a guy who says he "likes"you. Know that his heart is with God, so you will know that he will know how to treat you.
Set standards, you are worth them. If you go to marry a man, marry a man you know will lead you how God intends him to lead. Be a voice of reason and compassion. Be tender with your heart, but strong with the truth. Be the woman who guides and encourages her husband to be the man God intends him to be. Be a teacher, and a mother to those around you. Listen, even when it's hard to hear. When you stumble and fall, stand up and look back to God to guide you. Be the woman to set a new standard for the women of the world.
My boys and girls...learn to laugh, even when it's hard...laughter can be so healing to the broken. There will be a time that you will find yourself lost, unsure of your outcome, and not knowing what to do. Feeling only lost and alone. No matter how lost you feel, you are Not alone...God is always with you! Go to Him, He will guide you home! He will love you more than I ever could! I know that no matter how lost you feel, the day I first looked in your eyes...I saw you "found", I saw you"whole", and I saw you"home." Just turn to Him. To live your life with God is to truly live. You will see the world in His eyes, find His compassion, His heart, truly see worth in each person. You will find your strength in Him, even in the hardest of times..giving you peace. You will find His grace, love, and mercy.
So in closing, know this...I am proud of you! I'm proud of who you are, and who you will be. I'm proud to be any part of helping you be the person God has planned for you to be, no matter how long or short that role may be. I'm proud of the stumbles that I know you will overcome and learn from. Just remember...keep God first in your life and He will guide you through the rest. I love you more than you could possibly ever know....and He loves you more!!
Loving you always!
Mom
<3 Cat
Let me start for the boys...
To my sweet precious boys.
I wish for you the world, but to live in your heart as if you live on the ground floor. Never looking past those who the world so easily overlook. There is no one better respected than the master who will serve his servants.
The world will tell you to, "Be a man." Well I agree..be a man...
Be a man of God. Be a man, a man that is in, and KNOWS His Word. Be a man to walk with integrity, to do what is right with no one watching. Even if it's not popular to do so. Be a man to lead for God, even if it looks as if none will follow. Be a man to avert your eyes when this world tries to tempt you to desire a woman's body before her heart.
Be a man that faces his fears, and steps out in faith. Be a man who forgives easy, and loves hard. Be a man that when he fails, doesn't sit shackled by those failures, but learns from them. One that walks away as a victor and overcommer, and can help those struggling the same way. Be a man who says he is sorry, and mean it with all your heart. Be a man who respects his woman, whether she respects herself or not. Show her her true worth, show her how God loves her.
Be a man who provides for his family, and still takes time to play. Be a man who chooses to desire God first, so that God can show you how to be the husband in love with his wife after 50 years. Be a man that after 20 years of marriage will still grab his wife by the hand and dance with her in the Livingroom, while telling her that you love her.
Be a man...a respectful man. Be a man, a man of action, who jumps to help without being asked. Be a man...a gentlemen. When compassion and tenderness is needed, don't fear to show it. Be a man, a warrior man. A man who will stand in the darkest time for the truth. Be a man as the world says, but be a man to lead the men of this world to what a man should be.
To my girls..my sweet, beautiful, diamonds in the rough. First and foremost, get to know your Father. Your Father who is unfailing, your Heavenly Father.
Love God with all your heart, and don't fear to give Him your heart. He will respect it. Know that your worth is more than any price in this world!
Know that you are beautiful, no matter your body shape or the worlds view on beauty. Be in your Word and know your Word. Be of integrity, and fearless in it. Be a role-model to those who struggle with self worth, and have fallen into the worlds lies, that their only worth is their body.
Be kind and compassionate. Respect yourself to live by standards, and know that you are worth those standards! Know that God beautifully made you the way you are, and has great plans for you! Be in prayer, so you know God's voice for when He guides you. When you find yourself "needing a guy," don't just give your heart to a guy who says he "likes"you. Know that his heart is with God, so you will know that he will know how to treat you.
Set standards, you are worth them. If you go to marry a man, marry a man you know will lead you how God intends him to lead. Be a voice of reason and compassion. Be tender with your heart, but strong with the truth. Be the woman who guides and encourages her husband to be the man God intends him to be. Be a teacher, and a mother to those around you. Listen, even when it's hard to hear. When you stumble and fall, stand up and look back to God to guide you. Be the woman to set a new standard for the women of the world.
My boys and girls...learn to laugh, even when it's hard...laughter can be so healing to the broken. There will be a time that you will find yourself lost, unsure of your outcome, and not knowing what to do. Feeling only lost and alone. No matter how lost you feel, you are Not alone...God is always with you! Go to Him, He will guide you home! He will love you more than I ever could! I know that no matter how lost you feel, the day I first looked in your eyes...I saw you "found", I saw you"whole", and I saw you"home." Just turn to Him. To live your life with God is to truly live. You will see the world in His eyes, find His compassion, His heart, truly see worth in each person. You will find your strength in Him, even in the hardest of times..giving you peace. You will find His grace, love, and mercy.
So in closing, know this...I am proud of you! I'm proud of who you are, and who you will be. I'm proud to be any part of helping you be the person God has planned for you to be, no matter how long or short that role may be. I'm proud of the stumbles that I know you will overcome and learn from. Just remember...keep God first in your life and He will guide you through the rest. I love you more than you could possibly ever know....and He loves you more!!
Loving you always!
Mom
<3 Cat
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