Here it is Thanksgiving, the kids are tucked in bed, I pick at my leftovers in my heated house and my husband at work. While most of the city feeds into these corporations schemes to spend more money and walk away from their Families to get the deals...I sit here with a heavy heart. Don't worry, I am not going on a tangent about what I think of Black Friday and the Giant Marionette Handlers others wise known as Corporations that head these so called sales..If you want that, you will have to read my blog "Thanksgiving Thoughts" Anyways, now don't get me wrong, I had an amazing Thanksgiving. I was very blessed. I got to sleep in until 8:30 this morning. I hung out in my pajamas drinking coffee while watching the Macy's Day Parade on TV with my family. I had a nice record breaking phone call with my brother. (almost 25 minutes)Then it was off to lunch at my Mom's house with her, my sister and family. Then we loaded up to head to the In-laws for another awesome meal, and great visit with more Family. Then once we got back home, my Husband went to work, and my mom came down to watch a good Family Movie with me and the kiddos. A truly great time. Yet my heart weighs so much it is unbearable.
It all started when I looked at the morning paper and saw the Non-Profit I work at made the front page. I grab it to read, and the only thing written was about the dinner we had yesterday. Just a small text under the picture explaining the picture, and that was it. That was it! Here it is the Thanksgiving issue of the paper, with all the black Friday adds, the most purchased paper of the year, and the only thing the paper prints is that we had a dinner, who paid for it, and how the restaurant discounted the price. Granted it's all relevant and important information, however this is a non-profit that helps disadvantaged children, which runs on donations and volunteers. Committed people to mentor and be there for these kids, opening opportunities that they may never get elsewhere, and yet us along with our brother non-profits, we starve for people. Always having to pick from the same circle to commit their time to these kids. Did they mention any of that? No. A time they could have really highlighted us and our programs to help get more people involved and instead, its just the dinner. I think this stuff bothers me because my Father is a journalist and I know what they can do, and this was just a quick photo opp, and that was it. What a better Thanksgiving story, than to highlight an organization that is focused on our future...our children, but none of that was covered.
If people could realize how little it takes to affect a child. Most of the time, it is just to be there, not anything special, just to be there. These kids have suffered things that most can't imagine, and usually can only rely on themselves. Donating a present or a meal is great, but what they really want more than the meal, is someone to sit with them to eat it. Someone to tell them that you are proud of them. Someone to show them a different way to act. Someone who will not judge them when by themselves they let their tough shell down and ask for shampoo, or toothpaste over a toy. The holiday "feel good gifts" are great, but what about when there are no holidays, who is there for them then? The news said earlier this month ," It's the time of year to start thinking about helping others", which really upset me, because there is not a certain "time" to start helping others. It should be done, because it needs done. Not because its finally the time of year to finally "think about it". We are called to serve, and you may not think about it until a certain season requires you to, so that you meet the "status quo", but I guarantee you that those kids think about it everyday, whether it's popular or not.
I see kids taking their bikes or walking in the cold, waiting for the doors to open, in the same clothes. I have saw them cry because they got there after supper, worried about if they were gonna get to eat, because they had no food at home. Here is a shock, it was not a holiday and they were hungry. We give them Coats, hats, gloves, soap, toothpaste, help them with homework, supply material for projects, but just as important we give them a stable face that is there for them.So many of these places need people to get involved. Not just the material objects, but a little of their time. Once a month dedicate a few hours to spend with them. Shoot ball, read them a book, help them with homework. The slightest thing can minister to a child. You can help them to build morals, build their character and confidence, and give them something they don't have a lot of experience with...hope. A little love and encouragement can go a long way. So many say they don't have time, well look up how much time the average family spends watching television and see how those hours add up...I was shocked. These kids are our future, and they need us. They need us to guide them and show them the love of God. They need to see that where so many have failed with them, others will pick them up, because we care for them, and their outcome, and even in their own failures, that we are going to root for them and believe in them. They need people that are going to just be there, but this small circle these non-profits fish from are not cutting it. It is time that we as Christians pick it up and do what we are called to do. Here is a reality check for my local readers...Did you know that in Wood County there is close to 400 homeless children between Kindergarten and senior in high school, and those are only the ones that are actually on record. That is right, it's high time we start looking up from our own circumstances and start making some serious changes. This is our future, and if we drop the ball, they will too. They need us!!
Cat <3
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Thursday, November 13, 2014
The Light in Your Darkness
If there has ever been a time that I have ever wondered why people say, "When it rains it pours." Then there is no doubt, that now I know what that means. ha ha..Got the message loud and clear, no need for reteaching. No worries here folks. I'm not going to delve into all our problems, I will just highlight to give you a vague idea, but more importantly, I know that I am not the only one that has been hit hard this year. I hope to share what has been shared with me that gives me, my calm in the chaos this world throws at me.
So, how do I start this? I guess, we should hit a little history. Lets start with our family's walk. My husband and I have been married 14 years. Now, am I gonna say that our marriage has been sunshine and rainbows? Hahahahaha...uh...hmmm...that would be a NO. I think anyone with any years under their belts could agree, that is just not the way it works. I mean anyone who has even has a long friendship, will learn quickly that it doesn't just come and stay great, it takes work.
Anyhow...
Through the years God has been in our life, However, we only acknowledged His presence at certain times. You know those "important times" like holidays, funerals, and when we needed something that only a miracle could deliver us from.Oh yeah, also anytime my Grandmother or In-Laws were looking...God was big in our life then, or at least that is what we claimed. Then we had children, so we then had to have more of a front. I mean after all, we knew our children should be in church, it was good for them. So close to every Sunday we took them to church, and taught them to pray before eating. Granted my Bible grew thicker with dust as I left it on the "no'touch special book shelf." But we were "good" parents right??? Not cursing or fighting...not one disagreement in front of the kids, never drinking unless they were in bed, or staying at a friends house. I mean after all...even hungover from a crazy night at the bar, we got up and made sure they got to church. I was the "classroom mother" Snack provider for their sports, At every practice..and Game. Never missed one! My children did their homework as soon as they got home from school, we read bedtime stories. We played together, spent time together, talked...that's it..right? That is what made us great parents? Right??Slowly my children gained politeness, interaction with other children, had a great relationship with us. However our marriage starved. Living a split life, conveying morals to our children that we didn't live ourselves."Do as I say, not as I do" " God is important, because Sunday morning tells us so."
Boy did we have a lot to learn...
All I can say is thank God for His grace, mercy, and love. So...Long story short...We broke...each of us finding any and every path to run our marriage into the ground. And when I say run it into the ground...I don't mean a simple skip across the ground..I mean a pivot so deep most people are destroyed and scarred for life from it, That's how good we were. Then my husband would get right with God, and it was my turn to take the wheel and drive us back to the pit. This is how it worked until one day, we were so unattached from each other that we sat on our curb in front of our house and started discussing custody arrangements. No emotions, besides splitting up the house on the kids...but towards each other...nothing..calm...an eerie calm..A scary "its final" kind of calm. At this point it is usually done. My family and friends hated my husband because of his wrongs, and his family hating me, and borderline broke due to mine. The aftershock from our sins was one FEMA and the Government would declare a National Disaster.There was no where to go, no other paths, we had done our damage.
But God had others plans...
Thank God He had others plans!!!
Sitting on that curb, something came over us, and with where we went from there... I have no doubts that it was God that day. My Husband says to me, "What about God?" "What about Church?" "What about us trying one more time, for the kids...but really try God. We have gone and committed to going to church, but what about both of us going in, completely?" "Learning it His way, and then if that doesn't work, then we know without a doubt that we tried EVERYTHING." So, that is what we did. We started Christian counseling and really getting into our Word. God taught us about love and forgiveness and HOW to be married. He taught me who I am, and who He has made me to be. He has taught me that I don't have to live in the shadows and chains of my past sins, and that I WILL keep continuing to screw up...but it's different now. Now when it happens and He points it out to me, it is my true hearts desire to learn and walk away from that sin. Not saying I always do that well, because I don't. But I am trying, because I love God and I want to make Him happy with my choices.
So fast forwarding now... My Husband and I are awesome...and by awesome, does that mean we don't have squabbles?? Yeah right! But its different now. We both love God 100% We love and CHOSE our marriage, even at the rough points, and when we mess up...we truly love each other, we don't want that. All we want is happiness for the other, and intend to work to provide that for the other. I am truly with my best friend, and even on our worst day, facing our biggest mountain, there is no one that I would rather face it with. He is my counterpart, my love..and here is my nerd shout out to the Whovians out there..He is my Companion. ( I know he is seriously rolling his eyes now with that Dr. Who reference hahaha but that makes me smile and hey...if it fits )
Anyhow back on track ...We are good, God continues to teach us about all aspects of our life. We are in the Word. We, (no longer just Sunday mornings) teach our children the Word, We tithe, help in our church, and surround ourselves with God at any chance we can, trying daily to live and teach our children how to walk with God and have a relationship. Not just with our words, but by them witnessing our own walks, and guiding them along theirs. In studying in Daniel we realized how important setting our standards to line up with God's is. But in the last year, we must be a true threat haha, because every time we turned around there seems to be an attack headed our way. The main theme of this year seems to be financial, feeling alone and doubts of my capabilities as a mother, wife, friend...well, in anything really... In growing in Christ, it does make it nicer when you realize it is an attack, and where it comes from, but it can still be a rough ride. Some days handled better than others. It is not a simple thing, especially when you start hitting some truly serious situations to just say, "Here ya go God...it's all on you..I'm OUT" Yeah it doesn't work quite like that. Instead, it is a constant roller-coaster, with your ups and downs. Some days, being the person that represents peace, reassuring those concerned around you, how God will help us and that we need to just keep walking faithfully. Met by the next day with a psychotic spazzing out melt down, about what if we can't do this, what are WE going to do, how can WE fix this. What if WE are meant to walk through this? Even saying those words, my spirit knows better, but its like I can't stop them. And then...there was the numb days...the days I shut down, walked past the battle without a glance even close to that direction.
And then He spoke, when teaching my son his daily Bible study, God spoke directly to my heart.
John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
You see, we are guaranteed troubles in this world, but we are to be at peace because God has already overcome them all, and through Him, He will make you an overcomer.
Psalm 18:2
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold..
He is our Rock...what is that..that is the solid foundation of who we are with Him. He is strong and steady for us, only good foundations are made from it. He is my fortress! A fort, a get away, a place when all is wrong for you to take refuge in. A place of solitude and sanctuary, away from the enemy. He is my Shield...my protector! He is my horn of my salvation, he is the strength in my salvation! We are not meant to be strong, We are not meant to stand alone in our battles. We are to flee to Him, the one we can take refuge in. the one who will be strong for us. Even when we feel alone, or don't understand why this is happening. We don't have to understand why, we just have to run to him. He is our light and shelter in the storm. When someone is chasing a small child, does the child stop to ask why? No, they just run as fast as their feet will take them to their Mother or Father who will shield and protect them. They have full trust, even in the scariest moments, that only there with that protector will they get what they need. So in your battle, you may not understand why this is happening to you, but you don't have to...you just need to know where to run to. And please know, as you can hopefully tell from my testimony at how far gone our marriage was, you can never be to far gone for God. Just run to Him...He is waiting. Even if you have been with God for a while and just hit a bad battle that has recently rocked you..He is waiting
<3 Cat
So, how do I start this? I guess, we should hit a little history. Lets start with our family's walk. My husband and I have been married 14 years. Now, am I gonna say that our marriage has been sunshine and rainbows? Hahahahaha...uh...hmmm...that would be a NO. I think anyone with any years under their belts could agree, that is just not the way it works. I mean anyone who has even has a long friendship, will learn quickly that it doesn't just come and stay great, it takes work.
Anyhow...
Through the years God has been in our life, However, we only acknowledged His presence at certain times. You know those "important times" like holidays, funerals, and when we needed something that only a miracle could deliver us from.Oh yeah, also anytime my Grandmother or In-Laws were looking...God was big in our life then, or at least that is what we claimed. Then we had children, so we then had to have more of a front. I mean after all, we knew our children should be in church, it was good for them. So close to every Sunday we took them to church, and taught them to pray before eating. Granted my Bible grew thicker with dust as I left it on the "no'touch special book shelf." But we were "good" parents right??? Not cursing or fighting...not one disagreement in front of the kids, never drinking unless they were in bed, or staying at a friends house. I mean after all...even hungover from a crazy night at the bar, we got up and made sure they got to church. I was the "classroom mother" Snack provider for their sports, At every practice..and Game. Never missed one! My children did their homework as soon as they got home from school, we read bedtime stories. We played together, spent time together, talked...that's it..right? That is what made us great parents? Right??Slowly my children gained politeness, interaction with other children, had a great relationship with us. However our marriage starved. Living a split life, conveying morals to our children that we didn't live ourselves."Do as I say, not as I do" " God is important, because Sunday morning tells us so."
Boy did we have a lot to learn...
All I can say is thank God for His grace, mercy, and love. So...Long story short...We broke...each of us finding any and every path to run our marriage into the ground. And when I say run it into the ground...I don't mean a simple skip across the ground..I mean a pivot so deep most people are destroyed and scarred for life from it, That's how good we were. Then my husband would get right with God, and it was my turn to take the wheel and drive us back to the pit. This is how it worked until one day, we were so unattached from each other that we sat on our curb in front of our house and started discussing custody arrangements. No emotions, besides splitting up the house on the kids...but towards each other...nothing..calm...an eerie calm..A scary "its final" kind of calm. At this point it is usually done. My family and friends hated my husband because of his wrongs, and his family hating me, and borderline broke due to mine. The aftershock from our sins was one FEMA and the Government would declare a National Disaster.There was no where to go, no other paths, we had done our damage.
But God had others plans...
Thank God He had others plans!!!
Sitting on that curb, something came over us, and with where we went from there... I have no doubts that it was God that day. My Husband says to me, "What about God?" "What about Church?" "What about us trying one more time, for the kids...but really try God. We have gone and committed to going to church, but what about both of us going in, completely?" "Learning it His way, and then if that doesn't work, then we know without a doubt that we tried EVERYTHING." So, that is what we did. We started Christian counseling and really getting into our Word. God taught us about love and forgiveness and HOW to be married. He taught me who I am, and who He has made me to be. He has taught me that I don't have to live in the shadows and chains of my past sins, and that I WILL keep continuing to screw up...but it's different now. Now when it happens and He points it out to me, it is my true hearts desire to learn and walk away from that sin. Not saying I always do that well, because I don't. But I am trying, because I love God and I want to make Him happy with my choices.
So fast forwarding now... My Husband and I are awesome...and by awesome, does that mean we don't have squabbles?? Yeah right! But its different now. We both love God 100% We love and CHOSE our marriage, even at the rough points, and when we mess up...we truly love each other, we don't want that. All we want is happiness for the other, and intend to work to provide that for the other. I am truly with my best friend, and even on our worst day, facing our biggest mountain, there is no one that I would rather face it with. He is my counterpart, my love..and here is my nerd shout out to the Whovians out there..He is my Companion. ( I know he is seriously rolling his eyes now with that Dr. Who reference hahaha but that makes me smile and hey...if it fits )
Anyhow back on track ...We are good, God continues to teach us about all aspects of our life. We are in the Word. We, (no longer just Sunday mornings) teach our children the Word, We tithe, help in our church, and surround ourselves with God at any chance we can, trying daily to live and teach our children how to walk with God and have a relationship. Not just with our words, but by them witnessing our own walks, and guiding them along theirs. In studying in Daniel we realized how important setting our standards to line up with God's is. But in the last year, we must be a true threat haha, because every time we turned around there seems to be an attack headed our way. The main theme of this year seems to be financial, feeling alone and doubts of my capabilities as a mother, wife, friend...well, in anything really... In growing in Christ, it does make it nicer when you realize it is an attack, and where it comes from, but it can still be a rough ride. Some days handled better than others. It is not a simple thing, especially when you start hitting some truly serious situations to just say, "Here ya go God...it's all on you..I'm OUT" Yeah it doesn't work quite like that. Instead, it is a constant roller-coaster, with your ups and downs. Some days, being the person that represents peace, reassuring those concerned around you, how God will help us and that we need to just keep walking faithfully. Met by the next day with a psychotic spazzing out melt down, about what if we can't do this, what are WE going to do, how can WE fix this. What if WE are meant to walk through this? Even saying those words, my spirit knows better, but its like I can't stop them. And then...there was the numb days...the days I shut down, walked past the battle without a glance even close to that direction.
And then He spoke, when teaching my son his daily Bible study, God spoke directly to my heart.
John 16:33
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."
You see, we are guaranteed troubles in this world, but we are to be at peace because God has already overcome them all, and through Him, He will make you an overcomer.
Psalm 18:2
The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge,
my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold..
He is our Rock...what is that..that is the solid foundation of who we are with Him. He is strong and steady for us, only good foundations are made from it. He is my fortress! A fort, a get away, a place when all is wrong for you to take refuge in. A place of solitude and sanctuary, away from the enemy. He is my Shield...my protector! He is my horn of my salvation, he is the strength in my salvation! We are not meant to be strong, We are not meant to stand alone in our battles. We are to flee to Him, the one we can take refuge in. the one who will be strong for us. Even when we feel alone, or don't understand why this is happening. We don't have to understand why, we just have to run to him. He is our light and shelter in the storm. When someone is chasing a small child, does the child stop to ask why? No, they just run as fast as their feet will take them to their Mother or Father who will shield and protect them. They have full trust, even in the scariest moments, that only there with that protector will they get what they need. So in your battle, you may not understand why this is happening to you, but you don't have to...you just need to know where to run to. And please know, as you can hopefully tell from my testimony at how far gone our marriage was, you can never be to far gone for God. Just run to Him...He is waiting. Even if you have been with God for a while and just hit a bad battle that has recently rocked you..He is waiting
<3 Cat
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