Married and dating??? Whaaaat? Haha yes...Date the one you see everyday?? YES!! That is EXACTLY what I'm saying!
Why should we date our spouse?
Marriage and the family body is the most number 1 thing under attack in a
Christian’s life. So I would like to challenge each of us.
1st What
are our priorities, when it comes to our family? A Family relationship, is like
any other relationship, they take maintenance and work. Today, divorce, rough
family home life, broken families are the norm. But I assure you that it was
never intended nor has to be that way. God has always had different plans for
our homes. You may not see it worth your while, but can’t we all use constant
improvement and growth in our homes? Wouldn’t it be nice to be excited to come
home? Feel blessed and not at battle at home? To be able to be attracted to,
love, and even be best friends with your spouse? This is all possible, but it
takes work, and prioritizing. I don’t think that any family “wants to be
broken”, so why don’t we put the work to keep it from happening. Now I am not
saying that our life and marriage is better than any of yours, but I am saying
that God showed us a way to be married, and made it to where we were able to
get through things that most couples crush under, and even if your marriage is
amazing..WE ALL NEED to continually work on our marriages. So, that being
said..I wanted to give us some food for thought about our home lives.
Why should we date our spouses?
When you were 5 maybe you liked baseball, or my little
pony. Is that the same thing you like now? Most likely a lot of your likes and
dislikes changed over time. When we are married, we get complacent in routine.
Same things in and out, and often we forget that we aren’t studying each other,
to learn how our likes and dislikes have evolved. Do you remember when you
first met, when you spoke all the time? Remember when you wanted to know their
thoughts and opinion on every subject? That is when we are study our mate. That
needs to start again. Don’t know how to begin? Play 20 questions, What is your
favorite color, food, what is your favorite restaurant, what about the world?
What is your concerns, what are your moments that make you happy? Any question,
even one you think you know the answer to…ask..some may have changed. Ask Your
spouses opinion FIRST before anyone. You see something on TV or news, Make
yourself call or text them first, tell them what you saw and ask their opinion
on it. Making their thoughts count, start building back conversation. WE MUST MAKE OUR SPOUSE FIRST, (BESIDES GOD)
AND ABOVE OUR CHILDREN AND MAINTAIN OUR MARRIAGE. FACT, ONE DAY YOUR CHILDREN
WILL LEAVE AND BUILD THEIR LIVES, IF YOU NEGLECT YOUR MARRIAGE, YOU WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING
LEFT. YOUR CHILDREN NEED TO SEE THE WORK YOU PUT IN YOUR MARRIAGE, SO THEY
SUCCEED IN THEIRS. The best way to serve our kids is learn how and show
them how to be married and give them a happy, healthy home life.
Now that I
explained that, I will try not to be as wordy in the rest of this, just
straight to the point.
Ephesians 5:33 says " However,
each one of you also must love his
wife as he loves himself, and the wife
must respect her husband."
Why does it say this?
Husbands
#1 way he feels sufficient and loved, is to feel respected. When he doesn’t
feel respected, he gets cynical, not showing his love for or even caring for
his wife. Respect is shown in many ways. So studying your spouse can show you
how He feels respected.
Different ways that
you can show respect:
·
Complimenting His work
·
Telling him how much you
appreciate his provision
·
Following his lead
·
Sex
·
Building him up
·
Trusting Him
A
woman’s #1 way she feels sufficient is to feel loved. Study your spouse and
learn what makes her feel loved. When lack of love is shown, she tends to
become critical, feel abandoned, emotionally detached (no sex) and non-respecting…See
the cycle??? See how one feeds the other? . Some ways that women can feel loved
is
·
Spending time with her
(what kind of time is important to learn)
·
Touch:holding hands,
PDA, cuddling
·
Gifts (this is some)
·
Telling her, you love
her and saying compliments
·
Showing you are
attracted to her above others
·
Doing things for her (a
helping hand)
·
Listening to her, and
making her cares, your cares
Someone has to make the first move,
but to do so; you need to know what moves will count to your spouse, which
means you need to get to know them. Get to know what matters to them. One side
of this cycle feeds the other, so are you feeding it the right way to get good
outcome. Are husbands loving as he is supposed to, and are wives respecting the
way she is supposed to? Love is an action, and a choice. You do this NOT
because its deserved, but as an act of GRACE to show your LOVE. As God loves
us, even when we don’t deserve it.
RESPECT
| LOVE |
TAKE TIME AND STUDY YOUR SPOUSE, DATE
From my heart to yours
<3 Cat
