Dating WHILE Married

Married and dating??? Whaaaat? Haha yes...Date the one you see everyday?? YES!! That is EXACTLY what I'm saying!

Why should we date our spouse? 

Marriage and the family body is the most number 1 thing under attack in a Christian’s life. So I would like to challenge each of us. 

1^st What are our priorities, when it comes to our family? A Family relationship, is like any other relationship, they take maintenance and work. Today, divorce, rough family home life, broken families are the norm. But I assure you that it was never intended nor has to be that way. God has always had different plans for our homes. You may not see it worth your while, but can’t we all use constant improvement and growth in our homes? Wouldn’t it be nice to be excited to come home? Feel blessed and not at battle at home? To be able to be attracted to, love, and even be best friends with your spouse? This is all possible, but it takes work, and prioritizing. I don’t think that any family “wants to be broken”, so why don’t we put the work to keep it from happening. Now I am not saying that our life and marriage is better than any of yours, but I am saying that God showed us a way to be married, and made it to where we were able to get through things that most couples crush under, and even if your marriage is amazing..WE ALL NEED to continually work on our marriages. So, that being said..I wanted to give us some food for thought about our home lives.

Why should we date our spouses?

                    When you were 5 maybe you liked baseball, or my little pony. Is that the same thing you like now? Most likely a lot of your likes and dislikes changed over time. When we are married, we get complacent in routine. Same things in and out, and often we forget that we aren’t studying each other, to learn how our likes and dislikes have evolved. Do you remember when you first met, when you spoke all the time? Remember when you wanted to know their thoughts and opinion on every subject? That is when we are study our mate. That needs to start again. Don’t know how to begin? Play 20 questions, What is your favorite color, food, what is your favorite restaurant, what about the world? What is your concerns, what are your moments that make you happy? Any question, even one you think you know the answer to…ask..some may have changed. Ask Your spouses opinion FIRST before anyone. You see something on TV or news, Make yourself call or text them first, tell them what you saw and ask their opinion on it. Making their thoughts count, start building back conversation. WE MUST MAKE OUR SPOUSE FIRST, (BESIDES GOD) AND ABOVE OUR CHILDREN AND MAINTAIN OUR MARRIAGE. FACT, ONE DAY YOUR CHILDREN WILL LEAVE AND BUILD THEIR LIVES, IF YOU NEGLECT YOUR MARRIAGE, YOU WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING LEFT. YOUR CHILDREN NEED TO SEE THE WORK YOU PUT IN YOUR MARRIAGE, SO THEY SUCCEED IN THEIRS. The best way to serve our kids is learn how and show them how to be married and give them a happy, healthy home life.

Now that I explained that, I will try not to be as wordy in the rest of this, just straight to the point.

Ephesians 5:33 says " However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."

Why does it say this?

Husbands #1 way he feels sufficient and loved, is to feel respected. When he doesn’t feel respected, he gets cynical, not showing his love for or even caring for his wife. Respect is shown in many ways. So studying your spouse can show you how He feels respected.

Different ways that you can show respect:

·         Complimenting His work

·         Telling him how much you appreciate his provision

·         Following his lead

·         Sex

·         Building him up

·         Trusting Him

A woman’s #1 way she feels sufficient is to feel loved. Study your spouse and learn what makes her feel loved. When lack of love is shown, she tends to become critical, feel abandoned, emotionally detached (no sex) and non-respecting…See the cycle??? See how one feeds the other? . Some ways that women can feel loved is

·         Spending time with her (what kind of time is important to learn)

·         Touch:holding hands, PDA, cuddling

·         Gifts (this is some)

·         Telling her, you love her and saying compliments

·         Showing you are attracted to her above others

·         Doing things for her (a helping hand)

·         Listening to her, and making her cares, your cares

Someone has to make the first move, but to do so; you need to know what moves will count to your spouse, which means you need to get to know them. Get to know what matters to them. One side of this cycle feeds the other, so are you feeding it the right way to get good outcome. Are husbands loving as he is supposed to, and are wives respecting the way she is supposed to? Love is an action, and a choice. You do this NOT because its deserved, but as an act of GRACE to show your LOVE. As God loves us, even when we don’t deserve it.

 

     
       
        RESPECT

                                          

                                                                        

                                                                   

LOVE

   

                                                                TAKE TIME AND STUDY YOUR SPOUSE, DATE

From my heart to yours

<3 Cat

God? Where Are You?

   You know for the longest time I suffered. I suffered and didn't even know it. Some people may think that it is a blessing not to know. However, I challenge that thought. If you don't know, then how can you ever rise above it? You know, they say that the first step in dealing with a problem is admittance. So right there says that you have to know. One of my many problems I have had was "self worth" and what flies on the tail strings with that problem comes lack of contentment,peace, direction, confidence, self identity, and stillness to say the least.

   To start, I felt to know my worth was displayed in my pleasing of others. In getting recognition for deeds, attention, whether that be laughs, involvement with people, or sexual attention. Someone not liking me, or an action of mine devastated me, it truly rocked my world. Even in times that I was right to do whatever I did. Why is that? Because, I didn't know I was "worthy" enough to be confident in my decision. My choice in movement went with what was the most popular. This of course varied with whatever crowd I was with. If it was most popular to be athletic, then that's what I did. If it was to party, then I did it best. If it was to watch scary movies, then I watched the scariest. Whatever were the desires of others, I broke my back to do. I was always "proving" myself to all around me.

   As far as my so called, "self identity," well that was simple. It was identified through my job. My success "provided" my worth, and proved my intelligence. Since my last grade in school I completed was 8th grade, then I "had to prove" my smarts. To make a long story made short on this part of my life; 10 years later, I found myself still proving myself as a successful photographer, yet still lost, still not content. I was a "good" mom, and the "coolest" wife, with a marriage that made the average outsider jealous. Why was I not content? It must be my lack of education. So with this idea, I returned and achieved my G.E.D. At this time, my husband and I were awesome parents, because we never argued, cursed, or drank in front of our kids. Both of us very active in our children's lives, we both knew the appropriate thing was to raise them in church. We attended on Sundays, taught them to pray before meals and bed. But that was pretty much the extent of our walk with God. During this time God started working on us in pieces. (Well, the parts we allowed to be changed.) Still not content, I started college for a new career to identify with. Then, halfway through attaining my Teaching degree...I felt very strongly that God pulled me out. (Of course, to everyone else it was just a "break."I didn't know how, nor want to the explain the need to pull out.)

   Ignoring the truth of my marriage charade, it finally broke. Broke to the point that it couldn't be ignored any longer. Shattered, this was my life. Asking God why we couldn't have what others had. I mean, we believed in Him. Even on Saturday nights, while partying, we would invite friends to go with us to church, and had many "religious talks." To others, I am sure this stage they would label as the hypocrite stage. You know, in the bars on Saturday and the pews on Sundays. I personally, know my heart at the time would call this my, " I once was lost" stage.

So now, my education...gone. My marriage...crumbled. Being a mother I was proud of...shattered. Who am I? Where am I going?

   I wasn't proud of where my life was at. That's it. That's the word right there, isn't it..."proud" or "pride." Do you see the theme? "I"..."pleasing others"..."pride."That is what I had to do to try for so called "worth."But now...now, it was all gone. So what was I to do? How could I step out and rise above this place? (Boy, for being one letter, that is a powerfully, distracting from truth, word... "I", Who would think that so much damage can come from something so small.) So now, it was time that I take God more seriously. Many of you already know our amazing testimony on God truly, and completely healing our marriage. (If you don't know this then I encourage you to read my post called The Light in Your Darkness, and see how amazing God's healing touch is, when you just surrender it to Him!)

   So as I wondered in my shattered status, I had to learn just who I was. Not defined by man, jobs, or title, but by God. It was time to line myself up with Him, and be accountable for my actions with Him. And what did I find? Forgiveness. I found a true love, unlike what anyone can do for you. If you think that you know love, but you don't know God...then it's not true love that you know, and if you pursue it,  you will experience one deeper than you could ever imagine. I just had to seek Him. Unworthy, broken...none of it mattered, because we are all unworthy. But God chose to make us worthy and to love us without fault. In the midst of failure, He saw victory. He saw potential, beauty, and a plan that was made by Him...just for me. He saw me prosper with Him, and He saw my growth, even when I couldn't.

   Anyone who has been friends with me for a long period of time can testify, that I was never able to be alone. Constantly on the go with working, sports, activities, volunteering, and of course the constant "mom taxi service." I was always begging and begging for people to come over, always busy, always involved. Even in my growth with God, constant. God would give me a direction, then I would run 110 mph to it. Don't get me wrong, that was great! There is a time to walk and a time to run. Trust, I knew this too well. Homeschooling my 9, 11, and 13 year old sons, racing to work, and all of our activities and home reconstruction. Running, I knew well. Then it happened, my newest lesson...

   I sensed a change coming to my life, I just couldn't see what. I kept seeking God, wanting, begging for that direction. Watching seasons in my life come to a close, knowing that it was right around the corner. I just needed my next step. My feet were running, and I wanted to not lose momentum, find my new direction, shift, and continue running that way. But no direction came, no new course...just quiet.

   DO YOU KNOW WHAT QUIET IS????? Quiet is loud, quiet is scary, quiet is time. Time that you can mess up. Quiet must be failure, because I have willing feet to run for God, but no direction to run. This was foreign to me. I couldn't understand it. SO I did what made me comfortable, I just kept running with where God had had me with the thought process, "with no new direction to run, I must be suppose to run in the same place I have been." Of course ignoring the fact that I knew those seasons were closing. Then it happened. I went to the doctor, my first time there in 9 years but my problems made it jump up the priority list. Ten minutes into my appointment, I was told that my uterus had prolapsed, and I would have to have a hysterectomy. (Oh, and it would be in two weeks.) Also, they let me know that I had a mole that didn't look good, and they want it removed, as well as found a lump on my right breast. (and yes, all of this was in one appointment.) So what did this mean???Well go straight to work and well, of course it means run faster because I had 2 weeks to find a substitute for work, tests, scans, labs, prep school work for my kids, and so much more. This surgery was really messing me up. Mandatory 6 weeks off. WHAAAAAT???!! I don't understand. I don't have time for all this!

   As I'm sure you can tell, panic mode kicked in.

   "I don't understand! God please just tell me, where do you want me to run for you!?" During this time, everyone kept telling me to trust God. But that wasn't the problem. I trusted God. I love God, I just didn't want to run in a direction that He didn't want. I ran without Him guiding me, that I know what a mess a self guided run can lead us to. I was scared. Scared that I would mess up. Not scared of God's direction. I just couldn't see the direction, because He wasn't telling me where to run. Why? Because God didn't want me to run. God wanted me still. Why??

   So my six week "break" started about as well as any runners forcing of the bench does. Anything to distract me from being still. Filled with aimlessly scrolling Facebook, quilting, reading, Bible studies, sleep, and of course binge watching the entire season of Fuller House in one day, along with many other series from start to finish. In seeking my Christian counsel for help with direction...I kept getting, "Be still." "There is a time to be still." WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE THINK I'M DOING!! I'm down for 6 weeks. It doesn't get more still. But was I? Was I still? Or was I distracting myself from the still? "Just Be." WHAT IS THAT!? Be? Be where? How do you "Be"?

   Moving ahead, as my six weeks came to an end, and all scans and tests came back clear (Praise the Lord!) I headed back to work. Needless to say, my first day back to work, God confirmed to me loud and clear that He no longer wanted me there, and to focus on my children more. So that night I wrote out my 2 week notice to be what I said I would never be...a stay at home mom. Not that I had anything against others doing that. I thought it was awesome..for them. in my past, I identified myself through my work at a job, and reflecting back, I see that I was just scared to take that I.D away from me. But now, I know that even when I am lost, where to search for the answer. I know who I am, and who I can be by God and His Mighty Grace. I know the privileged and importance in "training my children in the way of the Lord, in all aspects of their lives. That goes from loving them,educating them, molding them to being watchful of their environment. Just as God shapes me, and knows who I am, and who I will be...EVEN when I'm lost, confused, or can't see it. I am to do that for my children.

   Why was I so scared to be still, quiet, and alone? I was scared out of habit. The old me, (before Christ) never wanted to be alone. Because alone, I was face to face with me. And to be honest, I didn't know how to be still, and my habit reactions kept me avoiding learning. Even up to last night, my first night truly alone. Husband and oldest son was on a camping trip, my two youngest at a sleepover. I kept saying, (out of habit reaction) "I don't think I will know what to do." And God said, "Just be." Just be, with God...in His Mighty presence. No phone, no Facebook, no shows. He said, "Quiet your distractions, and be still, to just be with Me." "Hear what I have to say." "You are a new creation, at peace. This peace is not based on circumstance, but on My presence in your life." "Be still and quiet, to let Me show you and tell you of your growth with Me. My beautiful daughter, you are loved, and I am here."- Your Father

   You see, even with my walk with God, I ran, and didn't know or recognize stillness out of habit from my previous self. The fear was based on who I was before God.Not knowing my own growth with God, I didn't realize that "being still" was a different experience than before. A peaceful refill of His flowing water. Everyday it truly amazes and blesses me with the constant growth that He encourages me to strive for.

   So in this lesson, I ask," Do you need to quiet yourself or distractions?" Are you feeling stressed or confused with your walk? Maybe you need that one on one time with God. Maybe you are like me, and need to be quiet and stop asking so much, so that maybe you can hear Him. Maybe it's time for you to "Just Be."

Deuteronomy 31;6
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."

Here is a link to some great verses about being still

From my Heart to Yours
God Bless
<3 Cat
  

Where Is Your Cross?

        This week, has been some AMAZING Bible studies with the Family! Which leads me to this question...What are You doing with YOUR cross?
That's right, I said YOUR cross, not Jesus' cross, but yours.

Let me try to give you a quick run down of what we have studied this week, so that you can see where I am.
Monday we studied Proverbs 5:1-23 (Now this is mainly warning for Adultery) However, we tied it to the warning signs of distractions, and how easily those small seeds are planted and the "weeds"can over grow us, and entrap us. So in these discussions, we started recognizing our own personal distractions from God, and what they truly glorify.

Tuesday we studied Romans 13:8-14, and that its self got its own blog, Get Your Jesus On. If you haven't read it, then I encourage you to do so. In Romans we learned about Loving others,  leading with love, and how that helps us follow the Law's of God more naturally. We also learned about not giving in or leading with lust/fleshly desires and to Wake Up and Choose God! Wake up and Choose HIM everyday!

Wednesday We were in Jeremiah 29:11-13- We discussed the popularity of verse 11 world wide. Any hard times and anyone will tell you, "Bible says..God has a Plan for you, and it's Good and to Prosper not to harm you." Now, I am not belittling that at all, because God does have a plan for you....but HOW? Well, if you will just read on it tells you how. Verse 12 "Then you will call upon ME and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you." So, HOW? You will Call upon God, Pray to God, and He will listen to you. But, how do we do this? Well again..READ ON...13 "And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for me with all your heart."   So you need to pursue God. Not half hearted, but with your ALL your Heart...AND when you seek Him, You WILL find Him. Another good lesson, showing us to cast aside our fleshly desires,watch new "weeds" growing to distract us, and seek God daily. When you seek Him, YOU WILL FIND HIM.

Thursday pulled it all together for us, with the real question. We studied in Mark. Mark chapter 8:34-35 it says, "When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, " Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.35 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospels will save it." 
This is something, that a lot of times, we may say it, but lets be real...when we think of the cross, most of the time, the main one we think of is Jesus' Cross...Not OURS. We think of the Cross, and we think about Jesus' sacrifice. So, okay lets think about it. Lets think about what He went through.
                                     He was Beaten,

                               He was whipped/ flogged,

          
 clothes ripped off, crown of thorns shoved on his head,

             spit on, and mocked, all while carrying His cross.

Wait, was it His cross? I believe that was our cross. He didn't sin, He did it for OUR sin, He did it to save Us! So maybe now, with a good visual, we can all see that "our cross to carry to follow Jesus" is a small price to pay, COMPARED to what He did for us.
When we struggle to weed our lives of ungodly things...remember The Cross, OUR Cross, the one meant for us, that we were saved from. Remember the COST. Remember that we are to carry our cross toward Christ. Love is an action, carrying the cross is ... an action...so in the words so well quoted in the movie "We Believe,"
DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE CROSS OF CHRIST? If so then the next question I ask you is...
What are You going to DO about it? 
Today...Friday, and each day, WE WILL ACT! :) What will you do?

<3 Cat

All photos courtesy of Images from "The Passion of Christ" if you have not saw this movie, I highly recommend it. It is the closest thing I have watch to the Crucifixion of Christ.

Get Your Jesus On!

      Ever feel in a rut? Feel like doing the same thing each day isn't tapping into your full ability to glorify God? Frustration that maybe your daily routine life of church, work, home...church, work, home isn't as important as that amazing friend in the mission field? Well let me reassure you..maybe you are or are not tapping into your full potential with God, either way...each day is a new day, and even tapping into God already...we can always better it even more!
This morning our family did a Bible study on these verses in Romans. This to me, in a sometimes routine world, is a nice reminder about where we need to be in our walk with Christ, and the example to those around us in those daily routines.
Romans 13:8-14 NKJV
8" Owe no one anything except to love one another, for he who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, "You shall not commit adultery," "You shall not murder," "You shall not steal," "You shall not bare false witness," "You shall not covet," and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law." 

11 "And do this, knowing the time, that now is high time to awake out of sleep; for now our salvation is nearer than when we first believed. The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of the darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no prevision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts."

     So in the first paragraph, this is nice reminder of how we should lead our walk. The first thing, it says  "owe no one anything." why do you think that is? If we are known for always asking for stuff, or borrowing, then we are not showing God to them. When they see us coming and say to themselves, "They must want something." That hides the Love of God that they should see. It can make them start dreading us being in their presence. So next it talks about loving our neighbor. Who is our Neighbor? Well, that is everyone. If you see they also refer to it as "another", showing that neighbor is not just limited to who lives beside of us. Is this easy? NO! This is a daily self check, that requires God's wisdom and guidance in every step of this path. Without Him, this is not possible. But if we are able to lead with love, and start our day with that concept, then following God's Law will naturally happen. You can't force yourself not to want something someone else has, unless you can love them, so that when they are blessed, you are truly happy for them. (Instead of wishing it was yours.) This is motivated by love. Remember love is the mindset, "what can I do for you," How can I bless you?" Lust is the mindset, "What can I get out of this," or "what about me."It is important to understand love to enter the next paragraph.

     In the next section, verses 11-14. It tells us "and do this" This? Yes, love. Like said above, by loving and serving others, following the Laws of God happens naturally. Do this...LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF, because the time is near. It says to WAKE UP WAKE UP!! Wake out of your slumber. Stop going through motions! You can have a routine that never changes, and still wake up and be on fire for the Lord! This is NOT an emotion that someone said something just right to make you "feeeel" like being on fire. This is a daily CHOICE! Your choice! THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, WE WILL REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT! Notice the word Will, that shows a daily choice, not a feeling. Feelings wear off, fade away, and get forgotten. A choice, is a commitment. Choose to WAKE UP, choose to REJOICE, choose to WALK DAILY for God ,choose to RECOGNIZE those desires and wants that are not God's Will, and choose to CAST them aside for God's Will.

    The day is at hand for Christ's return, look around you. Even in a mundane routine, you have a chance to shine for God! You can walk properly and place on the the armor of light. Armor...Place on your armor! Helmet of Salvation, do your coworkers look at you and say, they are saved and a Jesus follower? How is your Sword? Is it sharpened? Are you in your Word? Start your day by what? Putting on the Lord Jesus Christ. Placing your flesh desires aside, and not feeding them. "Get your Jesus on!" No matter the routine, CHOOSE TO WAKE UP! You don't have to be an amazing missionary to represent Jesus in your full potential. You can represent Him, and do great things for Him no matter where you are. You just have to DO it!

<3 Cat

The Diary of a Homeschooling Momma

        Did you know that in all languages the word "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" is pronounced the same? The education I get everyday as a homeschooling mom of three boys truly cracks me up. I wont lie, deciding to pull my kids and begin homeschooling them has been the best roller-coaster ride ever! Although there are some days that I truly want to bang my head off the wall, it is all worth it to know that I am shaping my kids into the men they will become.
   
        My boys are in 3rd, 5th, and 8th grade this year, and they are amazingly ornery. The way I figure they should be. Most of the time they are really good about getting their work done...(this took a while for my 3rd grader to learn) They love being at home, even though in school they were social butterflies. My middle son, (the 5th grader) thought it was going to be awful, and now is my biggest promoter for homeschooling. He has no learning ceiling like he did in school. Like the energizer bunny, he just keeps going. We start each day first with them getting dressed and ready. (we learned being in schools before, it was easiest to motivate them if they are "dressed for school") Next we do the Pledges. These consist of the US Pledge, Christian, and Bible Pledge. Then we do a family Bible study and talk through that. Then for the most part they do individual work. There are two sections my youngest two work together, and one part my middle son works with my oldest son. We have learned the hard way to rotate out on the computer. My luck seems to run, that one will be broke down not working, so now I count on that. Plus, too close too long, being boys and brothers they will likely start to bicker. Due to my work schedule, they don't get the luxury some homeschoolers get of sleeping in. They start each day at 8:00AM. Now I am nice the first week after a long break like Christmas, and that week I start them at 9AM, then week 2, we go back to 8AM. Okay, enough about the schedule! (PS Field trips rock, and we never do enough!)

       Okay, so on to the niddy-griddy....Here are my FREAKOUTS!
                           
        The constant battle starts,
Am I doing enough? Are they learning enough? Can they spell? I should increase their words!
Do they read enough? Have I read to them enough? Have they read enough out loud and what about their individual reading?
How do you document life skills? ( you know, cooking, sewing, car maintenance etc.) Their portfolio will need to show that. I need to get my 8th graders next 4 years mapped out. (That's right, already planning for that graduation) I cannot fail my children! I will not fail them!...Right?

       So now you have witnessed a full meltdown. Those words have literally ran through my head and out my mouth. ( Trust, my homeschooling mommas have received multiple  panicked phonecalls from me.) So if this is you...
Breeeeathe! Yes breathe.
Don't melt! It is okay to learn as you go, and ask questions! The fact that you are so worried about, panicked, and still make your kids education your priority, and not the Governments says it all! You are committed to doing your kids well, and you will learn along the way, what works and what does not for your kids. The learning process may be easy some days,or it may consist of a frantic call to a more experienced Home school mom. ( who I am sure is secretly laughing on the other end. Hahaha) Some days may just consist of crying out in an off key tune, " Jesus take the wheeeeel!" All of this is okay, because one day as you gather stuff for their portfolio, you will see the crazy amount that they have learned. Also, you will see it in talking with them, with how they carry themselves, and how smart they are. You will see, you are doing just fine.....so Breathe...and keep at it!

Psalm 55:22" Cast your cares on the Lord and  he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous be shaken."
<3 Cat

Are You REALLY Pro-Life?

Are you Pro-Life? What does that mean to you? What is that? Is that just a term, when you are saving a baby from murder, or is it more? In my instinctive thoughts, when i hear,"Pro-Life", I think and see that ultrasound photo that the advocacy groups use. But I challenge you, is that really the extent of it? I am going to share what God has worked me personally through, and I am sure that this will not sit well with some. Anytime you bring up controversial subjects, it is never pleasing to all. So, I will ask this, bare with me until the end of this. You don't have to agree with me, and I know that there are some that definitely wont. In this I just hope to shed some light in a normally cast in the shadows subject, and show what God changed in my heart. Hopefully I will also show in this, that I do understand other views, but they are not mine.

So lets start this...

"If you are Pro-Life for babies, then you should be Pro-Life for inmates." That's right, I'm hitting those icky subjects that most people try and avoid. Abortion and the Death Penalty. Now before you send me to the slaughter house, I want you to know...Three years ago, if you would have asked me what to do with a sex offender. I would have told you, (and meant with all my heart) to hang them in town square for all to see as an example. Being myself a victim of rape and molestation, I was very passionate about all the things that should be done to someone so awful. HOWEVER, God has worked me over these last three years. God has taken my heart and broke it for His. As tragically beautiful and heart wrenching as this path has been that He has lead me, I am able to see things in a different light that my fleshly desires hid from me for years.
When you pray for the heart of God, you can't help but weep. Weep for the hurting, the broken, and the lost. You weep for joy when the lost are saved. It's all this indescribable, overwhelming feeling. As a parent, your heart breaks when your child's heart hurts. Your heart yearns for them to choose the right path, when you know they are astray. You rejoice when they do as well as you knew they could. When your child does wrong, you desire the best for them. You desire for them to be restored to who you know they are, no matter how lost they are. This is just a tear drop on the journey God has taken me on.

Now, before you get my "peace flags" sewn, let me shine some light on me personally. I am a girl who loves her God, Country, Guns, and I am definitely a meat eater! So, let me break down my thoughts on this. Am I saying by my above statement, that there should never be any killing? It is a nice thought, but No. I am specifically talking about murder. There is a difference. Do I believe in "Defense"? Yes.The Fact is, if you try to kill me or my children, if I can, I will shoot you to save us. Will I feel bad and hate that it went that far to preserve life? Yes. Do i believe in hunting? ...Split answer to this one. If you are hunting only for sport and a trophy and do not use the meat, then NO. If you are feeding people, then I say,"Bring on the deer jerky!" Yummmmm! Do I believe in the Soldiers, and honor them in the defense of our country and freedom? ABSOLUTELY! (Side note: My Husband is a Veteran, not to mention, I could fill this post up easily with people who have served or are serving  of my family and friends.) God Bless You All and Thank You! Because of you and your sacrifices, I am able to have the freedom to write this, no matter how controversial.

So, to the point of all this...
Do i believe in Abortion? No. Do I believe in the Death Penalty? No.
Many say that these two subjects are too different to compare, but I challenge that, and ask these questions. Are they both not children of God, created by God? Are the BOTH not sooo valued by God, that He sent His Son to die on the cross to save them BOTH? Yes they are.
John 3:16 "For God so loved the WORLD that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life."  Each person is one God wants to save. It goes on to say in verse 17 That God didn't send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the WORLD through him. Again including ALL.

Let me ask you this, is one life more valuable than another? Is one of my children's lives more valuable than yours? Maybe to me, but I bet not to you, or to God. Is one of my children's lives more valuable than one of my other kids? No. No matter how lost, or how close to God we are, we are ALL God's children. Created, loved, and desired the same by God. If I ask my children not to disobey, and they do, but"It was only a little". Is that still disobeying? A sin is a sin, no matter if it is murder or gossiping, it is still a sin... and we all sin.
Romans 3:23 "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,"
The wage for sin is all the same big or small, it is still death without Jesus.
Romans 6:23 "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." The punishment is the same for ALL, as is the reward. Doesn't matter the size or degree of your sin. SIN IS SIN.

Now, I understand the out-lash to punish the wrong doers. (And don't think I'm saying no punishment, I am only speaking of capital punishment) My human instinct is to grab my pitch fork and join the mob. After all, I am a Momma Bear myself, but would I jump on that bandwagon if it were my own child being persecuted? Honestly, no. This is one of the things God has highlighted to me in this journey, value. The value in the saving. Are they all going to reform, or choose God's path? No, of course not. But neither if given the chance to live would every baby aborted choose God. Does that mean only ones raised godly should be saved? ABSOLUTELY NOT! They are ALL worth the saving! As for any of those who choose not to choose God, even after great sin. I weep. I weep for them all, but the question is, when we end life due to capital punishment, are we ending them before they might choose God, and possibly do great things for Him. Even if it's great things from behind bars? Maybe. Thinking of this, and I can't help but think of Saul and what a truly awful man he was before Jesus helped him become Paul. As awful as he was, he did such great things for God!This shows me, that even as awful, sinning, and persecuting anyone who stood for God. He was still a child of God, created by God, and desired by God.

I understand the Government and why logically they have the death penalty, but I cannot and will not support or endorse it. The same way, I can logically understand why some women may choose an abortion, but I will never stand by, support, or endorse that either. Both to me are wrong, because both are equally loved, desired and valued lives by God. How can we as Christians show nonbelievers God's unconditional love, His grace, mercy, and the worth he chooses to see in all of us, If we ourselves are valuing one life above another. Even though none of us are actually worthy, and we ALL fall short of God's will, God chose to make ALL of us worthy enough for His Son to sacrifice himself to save us.

It is time that we place value in ALL lives, weep for those lost, and rejoice in those saved. Honestly, no matter your stance on this subject, the fact is that there will be a day of judgment for everyone, where equally we will ALL be held accountable for the things we have done. As shown in Matthew 12:36-37. So, when we recognize how "awful" someone is, let us remember that sin, great or small keeps us from God the same, without the redeeming power of Jesus. So let us remember
Ephesians 4:29" Do not let unwholesome talk come out of our mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."
1 Thessalonians 5:11 "Therefor encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."  1 Corinthians 13:3 "If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing."
1 Corinthians 13:13 "And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love. 
Well I hope that this has inspired thought on some different subjects. I am not asking for you to agree with me, because this is something that God has worked on me. But I will say this, seek God, seek Him with prayer and His Word, and see what He will work you through. It may be different , it may be the same, the key is SEEKING GOD.

<3Cat

IMPORTANT:
If you are reading this and have never accepted Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and would like to do so, please feel free to message me! Trust me, it's the best choice you will ever make! 

 

Finding Prince Charming

When I was a little girl, I dreamed about "Mr.Right", my wedding, being a mother, and having a family. My Prince Charming would whisk me away and desire me above all else, even when my hair turns to silver, and my body is failing. I would be his. I saw my Grandmother, who until the day she died, (35 years after Grandpa) desire no other man, just patiently waiting to be reunited with him in Heaven. 

That is what I wanted! That is strong love!
But in a world, and my own life so full of divorce, I didn't know how to get that. Heck, I didn't even know what I was really trying to get. I know what I saw in the movies. You know what I'm talking about, "Prince Charming comes in on his white horse, saves the day, and that IS IT! 

Let the trumpets sound...Doot do doooo! Your soul mate has arrived! His desires are the same as yours, and instantly fate has paired you up. His life mission is just to bring you happiness."
*Siiigh* eyelashes bat and my heart skips a beat. That's it! That must be what my Grandparents had! All my girlfriends would just swoon over how gorgeous he was, and his unfailing tunnel vision that was only focused on me!  
Having my eye on the "target" I was now on the hunt at the ripe age of 10. Getting boyfriend after boyfriend.

                 Whoooooooa! SHOCK FACTOR!! 10??
                                 ??What??

Now that you have all said, "Oh my! Ten years old!" You know what I am talking about. Cute boy in class, or a friend of the family. Even though you don't go anywhere or do anything, maybe hold hands, hug, or maybe a kiss on the cheek for the joining parents to take a picture and giggle at how "cute" we were. That's right, even that young and innocent, not really a boyfriend in the mature sense. It still had an impact on my life and my worth. Showing me that I had to have someone. Life wasn't complete unless someone else found worth in me. What gained me the "worth" of a boy in class? Making sure my body was small, I dressed in the "correct" clothes, and only hung out with the "worthy ones." Imitating them in their lives whether it was my likes or not. This is where I fell into for many years the world's warped view on "individuality and worth." Now I won't go fully into that view, if you are interested in that you can read my other blog Them Nasty Curse Words In Church. 

Okay.... plug in for blog complete...moving on...

So as the years go by, boy after boy being "The One," until he turns out not to be the Prince Charming I had imagined. Each rejection, each failure telling me that I wasn't "worth" them devoting their lives to my said happiness. Even when I would change myself to be what "he would like." I kept failing, failing at being "worth" his love and worth his commitment. I wasn't  worth my Grandparents love. 

By the time I met my Husband, I was a professional people pleaser. I wouldn't have known what I actually liked, if it had walked right up and smacked me on the head. Going into our marriage, we were both such wrecks. We actually planned our failure. We were very open about it too. As we bought stuff, right then and there we would decide who got it "when" we split up. We thought in doing this, it would make things smoother "when" that day came. 
You see, what we actually had done is created a pattern of failure. Any relationship we had been in had failed us, or we had failed it. Either way... it failed. So we wanted to be prepared for when that day inevitably came. 

Then we had Children...(doesn't that just change everything? Haha.) We both knew we didn't want to give our kids a broken home. We had both experienced that ourselves, so we tried ALMOST every angle to "keep us married" until we broke. Here we both realized that our run had come to an end. Again faced with failure on both sides. My Husband not being my Prince Charming, and never feeling worthy to be with him. Me not being the wife he had envisioned, or with the same priorities. Both of us broken from the other. So many wrong paths, had just made it worse. 

Why? Why couldn't we have what the movies told us? Why were we going to be just another statistic on how marriages fail? Neither of us not knowing where to go or what to do. And me...don't even get me started, I was lost before it all even began. Shaping my life and opinions around what would please those around me. Not only was my marriage lost and failed, but I was sure that it was what I deserved by my lack of worth. I mean, why should I have any different? I should just count my blessings that we had lasted 10 years. That's longer than a lot of our friends. Even still, I wanted what my Grandparents had. I wanted my "Love of a lifetime." But this was something I couldn't get, and I didn't want this "love" of the last 10 years to be what we would have for the next 50. There had to be better, or more out there, but we were lost. I was lost.

Now anyone who has spoke with my Husband and I, has probably heard our testimony on this stage in our lives, or my readers that have read "The Light in Your Darkness ." This is a stage that my Husband and I try and be very open about. For those who don't know, I will highlight whats needed for this, but encourage you to read the full story. 

Plug in #2  for blog....check!

Okay, to recap... Up to this point in our marriage my Husband and I had "played church." You know, clocked in and out on Sundays and when the kids or important folks were looking. HOWEVER, our marriage showed nothing of God. 
Our marriage reeked havoc, not just in our lives, both those close around us as well. Even with putting our "fake" smile on, the sins of our hearts and actions bubbled to the surface, scarring more than just us. Not realizing until we were completely broke, the "Fe-ma sized catastrophe" we had created. Then what do we do? Then, the only path we had not tried...Give it ALL to God. 

But how? How do we get what we both wanted? So, we started Christian Marriage counseling. It didn't take us long to realize just how lost we had truly been. I could compare us trying to be married to the same as trying to throw a 5 year old into a car and telling them to drive. They may know some of what to do, but I doubt you would let them take you far. We needed better. We needed to know not just "how to drive," but how to do lasting maintenance to keep the "car" we were trying to drive, running as long, and as smooth as possible. 

However, before the "driving" lessons on marriage could begin, we had to fix ourselves. I mean after all, you can't build a house using broken beams. Okay, okay, you might be able to get it to stand, but it won't weather the storm. 
Now for the stand off... My Worth! We have 20 years of the world brow-beating me in every area I lack...verses... This foreign love of God that saw so much worth in me, He sent His only Son to die to save me. (John 3:16) 
 So the lessons and self exploration began to understand who I was and exactly what I was worth. We dug deeper and deeper into the Word to understand God's Love. I saw His mighty Grace and Mercy. I learned that the world and enemy will condemn me, but God will convict me with His beautiful Truth to shape me into a better person. (John 3:17-18)I learned that I am His wonderfully made daughter, and if He had 99 of his saved children with Him, He would leave them and search for me, the lost one! Just so He could bring me home!  (Psalm 127:3)(Luke 15:3-7)
                                        *WOW* 
He seeks me! He has tunnel vision focused on me! His desire is to have a relationship with me! To love me!Even when I am unlovable! Standing by me, with open arms, just waiting for me to turn to Him. There to search out my heart and help me to be the best me possible. Telling me that it is okay for me to be weak, because where I am weak, He is strong! All this time, we had been trying to build a house using us as the beams and foundation... But He who is our cornerstone is the true SOLID foundation. (Ephesians 2:20) A Foundation that WILL withstand the storm! (Matthew 7:24-27)

All this time, we had been trying to "drive" the car, and we already owned the "manual" telling us how to drive with, or without a copilot. When we finally started treating our Bible as the "Tattered road atlas" that we wouldn't dare leave without, instead of keeping it on the precious "no touch shelf," we actually started learning how to run this race. All this time, searching everywhere, taking so many unneeded paths, and the answers were in the book I avoided. I thought that book was filled with the "do-nots" of life. What I didn't know was it was full of His heart, and amazing love for me. (1John 4:19)All this time searching, and my Prince Charming that I desired unconditional love from had been right there, waiting for me to just turn and run to Him. (Zechariah 1:3) 

I finally figured out that I had true worth, not because it was earned, but because God chose to make me worthy! God showed me that MIGHTY Love is sacrificial, putting others needs first. For God so loved the world He Gave...
 "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

When my Husband and I learned God's heart and how God loves us, we were able to love each other the way we were suppose to all along. No longer selfishly about me, but I love to please him, and he me. He is my best-friend, and the true love of my life, because I choose him, and He chooses me...everyday. 

<3 Cat